I admire folks who work in nursing homes and retirement centers. Most of them have a deep sense of "call" to do this very difficult work. My mother has lived in these situations for the past twelve years, and I'm always amazed at the depth of commitment and "personal touch" that these individuals give.
This "nursing home" was a new thing for me. Oh, I had read many articles and books about this unknown future, but I had to experience it to fully understand. I didn't realize the many pressures it would place on our lives. I probably didn't comprehend the changes that would occur, not only for my mother, but for me.
For instance, I often found myself angry. I wasn't sure where to direct the anger. Many times I was angry at God. I wondered why God had placed my mother into such a difficult situation. I felt that he could make some better arrangements for her.
I was also angry at the inevitability of death. I understood that it was coming, but just like everyone else, I wanted it to come at a later time.
At other times I was angry at myself. I had a deep feeling of being unable to help. I would also find ways to blame myself for my mother's condition. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I could not help but feel that I was not doing enough to help. I wasn't sure I was visiting her enough; I didn't feel that I was meeting her needs.
It was also easy for me to be angry with the very people who are working to help her fragile life. I had heard many of the horror stories of nursing home workers who said and did inappropriate things. I didn’t want that to happen to my Mother. And then, I realized that they are just humans doing a very difficult job. I am sorry to say that I have found myself saying and doing things to them which were out of line, things that were more than inappropriate.
As a believer in Jesus Christ, I am so glad that I understand forgiveness. It's a day to day need in my life. The scripture says . . "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to heal us from all unrighteousness." That's exactly what I do when I "mess up" with my words and attitudes. I recommend God's type of forgiveness to everyone.
There is no doubt in my mind that Holland Lake Nursing Center is the very best in Weatherford. It always comes out NUMBER ONE in the polls. Every worker offers undying love and support to my 103 year old mother . . and also to me. They go out of their way each day to make this life ending experience as joyful as possible.
I visit my Mother daily, and I see many who have a servant's heart for her. I'm tempted to begin the process of "naming names", but I'm afraid I'll get myself in trouble. So let me just say a huge THANK YOU to all of the staff at Holland Lake Nursing Center. Each one of you is loved and appreciated.
Sam Cotter
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